INTENTION
I seek to heal with someone close to me.
I clarify to myself my intention to experience healing with them, to bring peace to the past stories I have of this relationship. Conflict quickly arises when we are together and soon I realize we are not joined in the same intention. We have been spending a few months together in the same home. I see we have both brought expectations into this time we are sharing together. The expectations are different and thus we clash. Each disappointing the other.
I quickly shift gears and realize my work is to bring healing into my thoughts. This is when I clarify my intention is simply for love. Love and kindness. It's not my role to stress out another if they do not wish to look at our shared story together.
This is a rich time for me to look at whatever I am still clinging to. Where in my past stories have I felt this person disappointed me, failed to live up to my expectations and needs of them? How am I holding this still? I see how it bleeds over into my other relationships. A part of me trying to work out this unresolved issue in my current relationships. Thinking it's a problem with the current person, but really I have overlaid my past onto them. My current relationships helping me with yet another chance to come to peace with my past.
I sense a need that I separate out my fantasy and hopes with what the person really was offering me. This feels key to bringing completion. I see so often in these types of dynamics I had hoped for something more intimate and the other did not feel the same. My place of being stuck lies in my not accepting that.
What does completion and peace look like in a connection like this? Often when we feel hurt we can strike out, usually in a subtle but potent way, in some form of verbal or mental attack. It's our way to externalize the issue, as something outside of us. When it really is not. It's pretty much our movie we are making up. Do we see the other as someone out to harm us, or as someone hurting and asking for love? Deep down that usually is what is going on in most connections, we all just want to be loved. Even in violent situations, somewhere deep down, the person is looking for love.
During the creation of this post I came upon an interview with Peter Russell where he spoke on this issue of intention and to bring into our relations the intention that the other person feel okay, loved, respected, supported as a result of our expression. What a powerful intention that is. Can I bring this desire into my healing with another? Letting go of the belief I was wronged. Truly taking the more noble path to wish for love to lead the way. My path is to shred light into the subtle areas where I may still be holding on to the small self.
"The solution is to monitor ourselves to be sure, whatever we say or
do, that there is not an element of attack. When we notice there is some
slight element of attack there, just pause. And reflect on how to
respond in a way that the other person feels loved, respected,
supported."
No comments:
Post a Comment